theTwistedman

So finally achieved a childhood dream and joined a medieval longsword group. All I've ever wanted to be since I could stand is a swordsman. I've now done live cutting which was totally amazing, actually managed to cut a bottle in half and keep the rest of it on the pedestal with the water still in it which I was amazed at considering I'd only had three lessons at that point. The lesson yesterday we were actually allowed to start practicing cutting and stabbing a target and next week we should start sparring. Overall, very much got what I always wanted. Should be going to practice in a bit as it is an art and needs practice. Some people find happiness in people, somehow I always knew I'd find it at the point of a sword. As far as drawing is concerned, I've recently been reading the Last wish which is what the witcher is based on so I'm hoping to do some illustrations based on the descriptions of the monsters from it.

So...I was watching a documentary about Dante Alighieri's Inferno and the art that is inspired by it. It's simply an artistic journey in to hell and I think I'm going to take mine now. I can see the river Styx, the lovers in their storm of passion, the woods and the city of Dis, no doubt I'll end up here one day hahaha. I started reading it a few times but could never finish the journey. Dis was where I stopped funnily enough. My plan is to draw as I read in my spare time so that I illustrate my journey. My friends may feel I've cracked because I'm the least religious person they'll know, all I can say to them is I still burn with hatred for any living or dead God and will never know a Gods love in my heart as I have none. A vision of a hell will be much more entertaining, as I believe the only hell is the one you make for yourself, you live in it, you suffer in it and then you claw your way out....or you don't in which case you become your own Devil and own hell.   

Hmm over 8 months since last entry. Suffice to say last year was bad but eventful. Spent most of it nursing other peoples pain, which is easy to do when you're emotionally dead. Was in a nasty car accident too. Rolled it and survived with out a scratch, was totally unfazed by that as well. My art has taken a serious hit because of this numbness I have. I used to be torrent of pain and anger,  an unstoppable force but now I'm simply frozen, cold collected. I did actually pick up a pencil and start drawing the other day or was that months ago and my drawings are perfect. Its as if a machine has made them not, the only give away is the eye's I still put what little I still feel into them. A few drops of venom in an ocean of lead, charcoal and paper. A stain of emotion. I have found cooking to be a good substitute. It's simply painting with taste. I am a changed person I don't feel doubt nor do I question my actions much anymore if anything I am driven by curiosity. I don't know what else to say, I've all but been forgotten. I can walk past or stand next to people I used to care deeply for and they don't even know I'm there which on some level is amusing. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, it just means that I'm left to explore my own musings. The world in my head was constructed for that very purpose. I expect to do more drawings at some point once I can be bothered but I have all the time in the world and not enough.

Well I seem to be sticking to the plan. I've been promoted to a support manager and taken in my stride, in fact my first day flying solo all hell broke loose literally. One of those days where your presented with the abyss of a problem and rather than stare at it I blinked. I've also sorted a dating site out not that I hold much hope, there is something very liberating knowing you have no love for anyone nor they you in return hahahaha
My drawing and such has fallen by the wayside but I haven't felt the need nor mood. I've finished my first few romans though and I'm impressed. Considering doing some samurai warriors or Vikings next, both warrior cultures that I may not necessarily agree with I can respect, both cultural ideas prone to extreme abuse though. I've seen babies on bayonets and men, women and children raped in the name of honour or the samurai code. I've always been a believer that a true warrior should protect the weak and if it is in their power to help someone it is their duty to do so. Still it hardly matters now the world is going to bloody hell anyway....

    Started off the year by doing two miniatures a that a very dear friend got me for Christmas. I've also got some more so am in the process of constructing Two-Face and his henchmen so look out for images. This passion probably wouldn't have been reignited without the two characters I've done which is Rocket Racoon and the Joker. I'm very pleased with how they've come out especially the highlights on the clothing which is difficult to do. The plan is to get all the Arkham asylum inmates and do a kind of diorama if possible. I feel closer to them these days than the heroes. Said close friend is ChrissieLowe shes an excellent artist and cook so check out her page cos its really worth it.

     I want this year to be different as I spent the last year living in my head as it were. This year I'm going to put all the plans I've got stuck in my head into action. First and foremost is learning to drive, something I found physically difficult to do before, however if I can push my body past its limits to the point where I can tip a small car, then I'm sure I have the iron will to be able to drive no matter how much it will hurt. After driving I'm going to try and find a house, more as a base of operations than residence, then I can truly focus on getting what I want most. These plan may not be art related however I've found that by painting and drawing, it calms the chaos in my head so I can formulate the plan instead of when I'm not painting and my mind is concentrating on up to 20 different things at a time its terribly crowding these days.